What Can I Learn From…? Lean In

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

This article is part of our series exploring key lessons from influential books—works that offer valuable insights into personal growth, productivity, and professional development. Whether you're revisiting a familiar favourite or discovering these ideas for the first time, we'll uncover practical wisdom that remains relevant today.

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, published in 2013, sparked a global conversation about women in the workplace. As Facebook's (now Meta's) Chief Operating Officer, Sandberg drew from her journey through Silicon Valley's boys' club to share hard-won insights about navigating career challenges and breaking through barriers.

The book became an international bestseller, launching thousands of "Lean In Circles" where professionals gather to support each other's ambitions. Its practical advice has helped millions negotiate better, speak up more confidently, and push past self-imposed limitations. Here are five lessons that can boost anyone's career confidence—regardless of gender.

1. Sit at the Table (Literally and Figuratively)

Sandberg noticed something striking in meetings: women often sat in chairs along the wall while men took seats at the conference table. This physical positioning reflected a deeper pattern—holding back from fully participating in important discussions and decisions.

 

Try this: Next meeting, take a seat at the main table. Contribute at least one idea or question within the first 10 minutes. Even if you feel like you don't belong there yet, act like you do. Confidence often follows action, not the other way around.

2. Make Your Partner a Real Partner

Success at work often depends on support at home. Sandberg argues that choosing a life partner might be the most important career decision you make. When both partners share domestic responsibilities equally, both can pursue their ambitions more fully.

Try this: Have an honest conversation about household tasks and responsibilities. List everything that needs doing, from bins to bills, and divide them based on preference and availability—not assumptions about who "should" do what. Review and adjust every few months.

3. Don't Leave Before You Leave

Many professionals, especially women, start pulling back from opportunities years before big life changes—turning down promotions because they might have children "someday." Sandberg calls this "leaving before you leave," and it can derail careers unnecessarily.

Try this: Make career decisions based on your current situation, not hypothetical future scenarios. If an opportunity excites you today, take it. You can adjust your path when life changes actually happen, not when they're just possibilities.

4. Seek and Speak Truth

Honest feedback is gold dust for career growth, but many of us neither give nor receive it well. Sandberg emphasises creating relationships where truth-telling is valued, even when it's uncomfortable.

Try this: Ask your manager or a trusted colleague: "What's one thing I could do differently to be more effective?" Then actually listen without defending yourself. Start small – by taking their suggestion on board, you show you value honest input and open the door for more.

5. Think of Your Career as a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder

The traditional career ladder—straight up, one rung at a time—rarely exists anymore. Sandberg suggests viewing careers as jungle gyms instead: you can move sideways, diagonally, even down sometimes, to eventually reach new heights.

Try this: Map out three different paths to your career goal. Include lateral moves that build different skills or expose you to new networks. Sometimes the interesting detour can teach you more than the direct route would have.

Making it work in today's workplace

Some parts of Lean In feel different in today's hybrid work world, where "sitting at the table" might mean unmuting yourself on video calls. But the core message remains powerful: don't count yourself out before others do.

You don't have to buy into everything that the author suggests to benefit from her insights. Start with one idea that resonates with you. Maybe it's speaking up more in meetings, or finally having that conversation about promotion prospects. Small acts of "leaning in" can build momentum toward bigger changes.

The real power of Lean In isn't about working harder or sacrificing more—it's about recognising and pushing past the internal barriers that hold us back. Whether you're starting your career or looking to level up, these principles can help you claim the opportunities you deserve.